My husband calls me ‘a very demanding woman’ so often – that I really believe I am an extra demanding woman. He is a very nice man, very communicative and loving (and I love him very, very much). He is always ready to talk and solve problems – but lately I’ve realized whenever we discuss something (about us, our daughter, work, our families, friends or anything else) he ends up by saying I’m very demanding woman, and somehow I started to believe being a demanding person is wrong, is no good, is sickness.
Until now I thought being demanding is positive, respectively it means being persistent to get what you want WITHOUT harming people around you. I thought being demanding is motivation to achieve positive things in life such as: having an educated/smart daughter, having happy family (both with parents and your spouse), and having a good/successful carrier. But I was wrong I guess…
SO…What is a demanding person? (I did some online searching and here’s what I got)
A person who is really bossy and who always wants everything and every single thing that the person wants should be in his way.Demanding people can be pushy, persistent and demand a lot of time and attention.
Some signs of demanding people (I found online are): a need to control; a sense of entitlement; an inability to empathize; difficulty dealing with ambiguity; a strong drive for perfection; difficulty respecting structure, limits and rules; dependence on others to take care of them; fear of dealing with the realities of life; and persistence after hearing “no.”
I also found some dos and don’ts when dealing/communication with a demanding person, such as described below:
- If possible, talk to the individual in a safe and comfortable place.
- Remain calm and in control of the situation.
- Set clear limits and hold to them.
- Clearly explain which behaviors are acceptable and which are unacceptable.
- Be clear about the time you will give the person.
- Request that s/he treat you with respect.
- Contain disruptive behavior that disturbs the class, study group, office, etc.
- Be aware of manipulative behavior.
- Argue with the person.
- Accommodate inappropriate requests.
- Ignore the negative impact it has on you and others.
- Adjust your schedule to accommodate the person.
- Feel obligated to take care of him/her.
- Feel guilty about not doing more.
- Allow the person to intimidate you.
.. and I’M totally NOT this.. (I need to show this to my husband)
Yes I’m demanding to a certain point, or as I would like to call it normally demanding woman. A woman which was raised to fight for her rights and never let anyone treat you otherwise than you deserve JUST because you’re born female. I was raised to protect what’s mine – because otherwise male society will violate your right of possessing it.
… And this is what I become today a normally demanding woman, who demands love because she will do anything for love.She will constantly remind people how much she loves them and how happy she’s of having them – so of course we will expect something in return..
She will demand from her child to work hard and be successful, because to her is more important her child’s achievement and happiness than being labeled as ‘good-loving mom’ (and I’m not saying she doesn’t show her love).
She will demand to get into higher positions and/or higher salaries, because she works her a… for it…
Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll change.. Tell me you don’t do the same and I’ll change.. but just because I ask more than a regular (average) woman where I live, you can’t blame me for being demanding, you can’t make me believe I’m sick. Just because I’m a fighter doesn’t mean I’m a bad person.