As a child we are in the center of our families, and our friends are more our cousins and/or friends our parents choose for us (e.g. children of their friends). With the passing years we are served with options to choose, but still our friends are selected on what is served to us – by society this time (school, neighborhood, etc.).
Once our student life end, most of the friends start to shake themselves into more different tiers, they decide not to climb our mountain of friendship. Some of their decision will have a huge impact in our life, and the way we see and/or select our friends in the future, but we will always be thankful (sometimes in the future) for the ones who left and feel the blessing for the ones who stayed with us in this journey.
However, only when you climb high at the top of the mountain you can see who your friends are, what they mean to you, and what is your relation with them. Today I list the basic levels of this mountain, and I’m sure you will all find a friend who belongs in each level.
I’ll start with the top level, call it a green zone if you like, in which 1 to max 3 friends can fit, and yes there’s no room for more. They are the ones we call sisters/brothers, the ones who are closest to us, the ones we call the first when something important happens, the ones who share our secrets, and the ones we love the most.
Below the green zone, is the level of ‘pretty good friends’, which is filled with friends we share our happiness and sadness over a cup of coffee often (maybe everyday), the ones we go out for a dinner (occasionally) and have enjoy our time together; the ones we give hugs, but also the ones we don’t have ‘responsibility for’, and/or the ones we ‘might’ hear from others what’s going on in their life.
Then there’s a level of ‘ordinary friends’, the ones we can have a coffee one day, but than years may pass until we have another coffee. Our friendship exists mostly as a part of a bigger group or through the facebook likes.
And finally is the level of ‘not-really friends’, the one we greet when we see each other but never have ‘time’ to have a coffee with, and/or the ones we write an email or make a phone call only if we need them for our professional purposes.
We all have these kinds of friends, but with the passing years it is surprising how people shake and move towards the lowest levels, until there comes a day you can count on fingers the friends who could stay at the top, and you will realize that the older you get the harder is to make friends anymore. Of course you will meet new people, but most of them will remain at ‘not really friends’ level, or maximum they can move at the ‘ordinary friends’ level’ but you won’t be able to make friends who will climb with you to the green zone.
With the development of technology, internet and smart phones the meaning of friendship is being lost unfortunately. Many times we see ourselves surrender with people who keep their phones in their hands, and our presence or absence doesn’t make a difference. We feel inferior, lonely, unwanted and unloved, and no matter of thousands of likes in facebook we miss a real hug.
My suggestion for you today and onwards is to find more time for you good friends, and get rid of the others. I’m not suggestion you to stop being friends with other people, but instead focus on the ones you share mutual love. Don’t waste your time by spreading love in facebook and still make people feel unloved, but instead stay loyal to you real friends. Don’t forget, in order to get, you need to give –so keep that in mind and work on it before it gets too late.