Tag Archives: believe

When nobody believes in you – Changes you never thought you would see

My husband is the dearest person for me. He is sweet, kind and respects me. But he is not also an easy person to deal with. He is lazy and picky – especially when it comes to food.

We are together for 6 and a half years, and almost 5 years married. During entire this time I tried to convince him to start eating healthier food, quit smoking, sleeping earlier and engage himself with a sport/fitness.

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It was only last year (2015) when we started to have this talk seriously – and not because I was more serious but because he was listening to me more seriously. By the end of the year he said my resolution for 2016 is to start eating healthier, quit smoking and start running and playing basketball. Of course I was happy but not as much as I would expect myself to be. Why? – because I didn’t believe him. Not that I don’t believe what he says but because he was promising me to start a new life and leave behind his life he really loves. He enjoy eating hamburgers – he never even tried vegie – food because he said “vegetables are tasteless – they taste like grass”. Cigarettes are his toys, his moment of calm – and I never imagined him quitting. As per exercises I didn’t even tried to really ask him, because he is so lazy he even goes to buy bread with car in a bakery which is 2 min -walk away from our apartment.

It was January 2016, just after New Year party when he woke up in the morning and said I want omelet with vegetables. WHAT? – Was I hearing him correctly?  – Cook us something healthy today and tonight I’m starting to run.. “Cmon honey why don’t you wait for the snow to melt first, how you’re going to run in the snow?” – was my question. ‘Rudina, I gave a promise to myself and you and there’s nothing stopping me. If I start finding excuses  -oh trust me I will find everyday an excuse and will never make any progress, so instead of pushing me back on my goals I need your full support. And if you ever see me quitting you need to promise me you will push me forward’ – “Woaw” this was all I could think and say.

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I consider myself stubborn and goal oriented but seeing my husband talking and acting differently just in one single day I really mean WOAW – that was surprising as hell. For one month and a half since that day he in fact taught me and showed me that I’m not even close to being stubborn and goal oriented.

I’m really proud of him! – He did it on his own everything he did until today and seeing him all happy and newly-born I don’t think he will ever step back. When nobody believed in him – including myself – he moved on  – looking back to us with a smile of achievement in his face. Now I know he will never give up because he passed the hardest part of his journey. The only thing he left behind is jealousy. I will give birth hopefully by the end of March and then I need to start following him in his path otherwise I will die from the jealousy – Just kiddingJ.. I’m really, really, really proud of him!

Photo-via-@millionairenotes-•If-you-dont-believe-in-yourself-no-one-else-will.-Always-have-faith-i

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Dreams

Do you believe in dreams? – Do you believe dreams have a meaning, a message? – I sometimes do!imagesEVBNM22C

Ancient civilization saw dreams as portals for receiving wisdom from the Gods; Freud said they are royal road to unconscious, to secret emotions hidden deep within us.

I know today in modern times dreams are succession of emotions and images that occur during the sleep, and I know they last from 2-3 second to maximum 30 minutes, and I also know that both science and religion have tried to research and speculate about their interpretation and that still nothing is definitively understood, but yet to me sometimes (not all the time) dreams do represent a message. Sometimes a dream to me represents only my emotional state, but some other time it gives me a sign, a message.

In one of my posts I’ve written about my grandfather and our special bond we used to have. Believe me or not whenever I’m anxious about something I see him in my dream: we sing together, or he tells me what to do. If he’s only there watching me or hugging me- I know he supports me, but if he’s angry with me, and I don’t follow my ‘message in the dream’ it always ends up with things not being in my favor.

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Yesterday I had a very strange dream, a very strange one, and today I woke up with the dream in my head. I searched in Dreamsmood website to find its meaning (yeah I admit I sometimes to believe in this kind of things), and its explanation was “something or someone in your current life is bringing out similar feelings you felt you had in the past. The dream may be a way of alerting you to similar behavioral patterns in your current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistakes” It also tells me that “you are currently finding yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in. It suggests that you are experiencing a similar relationship or situation which makes you feel unhappy and uncomfortable. The dream is telling you not to make the same relationship mistakes that ended that relationship.”

Really? – I’m not buying it this time.

On Valentine’s Day we celebrated our 5th anniversary. I know we’re happy, because I can feel it, I can see it in my daughter’s eyes, and nothing can take that away from me.

Life sometimes is out of our control, some things cannot be undone, and sometimes we feel sorry for our mistakes we did in the past, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I might have done many mistakes in my past, but if I had to – I would do each and every one again and again just to be here again, with my loving husband and my angelic girl.

Today, no matter how my dream makes me feel and no matter what it reminds me, I’m thankful for my pasts which lead me to this moment, because I know, how I feel today is priceless.

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