Tag Archives: meaning

Choosing my baby’s name

bzzz

When I was born in 1985 it took my father 1 month and a half to decide for my name. They never wanted to know my gender, especially because I was the third child in a family with two daughters. The only reason in fact my parents decided to have another child was by hoping I will be a boy, since my father, my grandfather and my grand-grandfather were the only men in their family, and they really wanted to have a heir who would inherit my family name and wealth. And as you might imagine giving a birth to another girl was not a happy moment for them –although I was the most loved and spoiled daughter in the family afterwards.

Today it’s totally different. Today people get more excited and happy when they give birth to girls, because daughters are always more connected with their families – even after they get married.

When I was pregnant with my first baby, even before I knew her gender me and my husband had chosen two names one for the boy and another one for a girl. Although their meanings were very contradictory (for the girl we chose the name ‘Bora’ which means snow, while for the boy we chose the name ‘Dielli” which means sun). It turned out to be a girl so her name is Bora.

Now after 4 years I’m pregnant for the second time and it’s a boy, and despite the fact that everyone thought his name will be Dielli, me and my husband share different feelings today (compared to others). Dielly indeed is a very beautiful name, very positive, but it is just used too much lately in Kosovo. I have a feeling that every second boy is named Dielli. But choosing a name for our baby it is very tough. We want a short-name, to be Albanian (but easily pronounced in English too – since Albanian language has 36 alphabet letters – some of them which are not easily pronounced in other languages), and have a meaning. We have many proposals and suggestion but someone none of them is ‘the one’. I never thought choosing a baby’s name will be this hard.

Then of course I searched online how other people chose their baby names, and of course how it sounds and uniqueness are the most important thing people look for, but people look also after names that age well and that combine emotions, such as link it to a moment, month of birth, etc. One of the things that is very important, especially if you want a unique name is to do your homework well, because sometimes you think you baby’s name is very rare, but then suddenly after you name it every second child holds that name. A very interesting suggests I’ve read online is that ‘most name associations don’t last’. It happened to me and I’m sure it happened to all new parents to conjure/associate a name preference with our pasts: that childhood friend we didn’t love, ex-lover of our partner etc. –but if we really love the name afterwards we will regret for not naming our baby because of someone we once didn’t love. Because we all (including our family and friends who might be against the name) will learn to love the name once the baby arrives.

One of the toughest debate I had with my husband around the name for our baby-boy is that he wanted to have a strong meaning –masculine type of name – which shows power. But then he kept suggesting names like Ares – the son of Zeus from Greek mythology, who was the God of war, spiritless, and who killed everyone who crossed his road. It was hard convincing him that the name doesn’t have to be strong because the name won’t impact the kid’s masculinity or personality. Last but not least we all should remember that the name we will pick is the best.

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‘Man’s search for meaning’ by Viktor E. Frankl – Book review

dd

Before I say anything about the book, I want to admit that without a doubt this is one of the most influential books (and it is recommended to be read at least once in our lifetime), and one of the most powerful psychological books I’ve read.It was written on 1946 by Viktor Frankl,, a neurology and psychiatric professor at the university of Vienna Medical School, and Distinguished professor of Logotherapy at the U.S. International University. During the World War II he spent three year at Auschwitz Dachau and other concentration camps, which he amazingly describes it in the part one of the book, by trying to tell us, how they survived mentally and how every day in a concentration camp influenced their mind.

Part two of the book, on the other hand introduced us to ways of finding ‘the meaning of life’ and his theory called logotherapy.

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

 

According to author everyone can find the meaning of life in every moment of living, even in suffering and death. Book in general describes three stages of people who think that they have no meaning to live. The first phase is depersonalization, respectively the readjustment period. This is shown in part one when they try to readjusted to a prisoners life, and the second part when they try to adjust to freedom.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

 

The second phase is the danger of deformation, when people face reality which might be different from the one they believed in. Frankl uses the analogy of a diver suddenly released from his pressure chamber.

“An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.”

 

And the third phase is the hardest one to overcome, the struggle of the prisoners with two fundamental experiences which could also damage their mental health: bitterness and disillusionment

“So live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”

 

After I finished reading this book, I become more self-critical of any future endeavors which would take up a lot of my time. If anything has no meaning for me, I’m simply not doing it, and in this way I’m doing more of the things I love, and I’m happier. For anyone looking for purpose in life, this would be my recommendation to you.