Tag Archives: music

When a song reminds you of a special feeling

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I don’t know about you but I have many songs that remind me of very special moments. Yet, the song “If I ain’t got you” by Alicia Keys is one of my favorite songs, because it reminds me the hard times me and my husband had to pass to be together.

We both share histories from our past. His one is a sad one, whereas mine is a troubled one. And in fact if we analyze how we got together, it was our histories that connected us. Both of our problems/sadness began at the same time, and somehow we needed to be together (we were colleagues and friends before we got together).

It was a night in spring 2009 when I went out for a drink, and there was live music. I was at my parent’s house who live in another city. I don’t know why but the singer sang more than three times this song, and somehow I couldn’t stop thinking on him (now my husband). I could clearly say it was exactly that night I became aware that my feelings towards him had changed. Somehow all I wanted was to be with him, not only that night but forever afterwards. I remember we exchanged some messages but I can’t remember exactly what. I went to sleep thinking on him.

The next morning I was drinking coffee with my family when the doorbell rang… and when I opened the door it was him. I was shivering and was ready to explode in tears and kiss him right there in front of everyone, but I had to calm myself because we firstly never talked about us and secondly my family was against me getting involved in any relationship, especially because I still didn’t officially break-up with my ex-boyfriend to whom I was also engaged (which means our families had a history together) – although we were not seeing each other for over a year.

Nevertheless, I remember me and my ‘friend’ (now my husband) went out and spent the day together. If you ask me what we did, where we went or what we talked I can barely tell you anything, because I was way too emotional to pay attention. However, for me that day still remains one of the best and happiest days of my life. All I can say and remember is that ‘that particular day’ marks the beginning of our love story, not because we kissed or talked anything about us, but because we both felt the love.

My husband remains one of the most important people in my life. I’m the happiest and luckiest girl to have met him and be with him. He will forever be my place of calm. There’s no way in the world through which I can truly express my love for him, but I know he can feel it and that makes me happy.

And as the song says:


Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain’t got you, yeah

Repetition is boring

I don’t know about you, but there’s almost nothing in my life that I don’t get bored of. I need changes, repetition is boring as hell. Sometimes I believe I don’t have any real hobbies because doing the same thing over and over gets boring.

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It is interesting that even the most loved and favorite things in my life get boring if I do them repetitively. My favorite lunch gets boring if I eat it every often. I don’t mind eating the same thing two days in a raw, but if I eat the same thing every week after several times it gets boring and I can’t eat it anymore.

I love reading, but not the same subject. Sometimes I read romantic novel, some other time science fiction, and another time professional books. And still time to time I need to stop reading at all. I love writing but not all the time. The only thing I keep doing repetitively is listening to music, but I have no preferred artist, music type and/or song – because even the music type needs to change.

I envy my husband who sticks to what he loves. He has his preferred sport, music type, lunch and he never gets bored of them even if he does the same thing over and over again every single day. I envy him because he talks with passion for the things he loves, whereas I have no passion at all – or only at that particular moment. I don’t know about you, but that’s how I’m build and yet I don’t like it – because sometimes I find myself bored to death.

The only thing I never get bored of is my family. Spending time with my husband and children never gets boring – contrary due to long working hours and dynamic life I find it difficult to really spend and enjoy time with them. My husband keeps teasing me all the time regarding this one. He says he won’t be surprised if one day I’ll go and tell him I got bored of him, and that he is in fact surprised I never did it till now. But I don’t think I will ever do that – because I love him differently.

Nevertheless, living like me (getting bored easily) it’s not fun, and I would really like to change that part but no studies every helped me. I guess I have to continue being creative and keep myself constantly busy with new things

How music affect fetal development

In fact this is not yet scientifically proven, and there are pro and cons arguments. Some studies, such the book I just read “Do chocolate lovers have sweeter babies: The surprising science of pregnancy”, indicate that fetuses can hear, react to music and even further they influence their development. Although no studies and/or book defined the idea that playing the music to your baby in the womb makes them smarter, some studies I have read support the idea that based on what kind of music you play and/or your baby in your womb reacts to –it depends his personality type.

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I personally can’t really tell for my baby, as he is very active baby and as such he kicks almost all the time I assume he is awake, so I can’t make any difference. Yet my taste for music during this pregnancy is totally different from my first pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my babygirl 4 years ago – I was more into relaxing music: Mozart, Love songs, and similar, whereas now I’m fully into energetic music, it doesn’t matter if its R&B, Pop or Rock – it just has to be energetic. I don’t know if this effects their personality, and since there are always people arguing pro and cons I can’t say for sure. Neither can I say anything based on my babygirl as she contrary to the music I loved to listen during my pregnancy if very stubborn, not so emotionally expressive, but surely it is very smart. I don’t know how my angel will be, but one thing is for sure his astrological sign will be similar to his sister (which means his personality might be similar to her), as my due-date is exactly the same with my babygirl’s. One thing is for sure –  as long as the  music I love listening to makes me feel happy, powerful, and it makes me dance around and have fun  – I’ll keep listening to it.

Boredom is good – studies claim, but is it really?

I hate it when people say ‘I never get bored’.  I work hard to make situations as interesting for myself as I can, because if I can’t it feels like my brain can’t breathe or move.

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I’m type of person who gets easily bored. I have many hobbies, but no one of them is my passion, or better say none of my hobbies is strong enough to keep me interested forever.

I LOVE reading – I tend to read min 3 books a month, but after two of three months of this intensity I get one or two months off. No matter how much I try to read, nothing seems to keep my attention and interest. I love reading, but I don’t have a favorite gender.. sometimes I read romance, sometimes business, other times I read science-fiction, mystery and some other times politics.

I love listening to music, but I don’t have an idol. Yes I love Beyonce for her powerful voice and appearance, her persistence and love towards her family, but even she’s not so idealistic to not see her flaws. Just like I don’t have a favorite gender for books, I feel the same about music. Sometimes I love slow music, sometimes R&B and some other times hip-hop or rock. (this usually depends though in my mood)

Sometimes I think I’m very complicated person, but then I see there are other people like me. I read many theories that getting easily bored in fact is good. ‘Boredom inspires people to seek out way of being altruistic, empathetic and engage in prosocial tasks’ – of the studies says, however  it’s not that easy. I watch my husband and his hobbies, one of them being movies. He knows all artists (he even knows their biographies, or at least something about them), he knows producers, he has his favorite gender, his favorite actor, and such. And I envy him.. I really do.

Unfortunately my girl is like me in this point. She’s only three, but she doesn’t have a favorite toy, a favorite song, or favorite cartoon character (it is easy for me though to choose her birthday theme ;p), and it’s not easy to deal with her. We have to be all the time creative, and engage her in different activities so she doesn’t get bored, and it is time and energy consuming. It’s not easy at all, trust me! But I’m happy for her, at least she doesn’t settle for something that doesn’t interest her. She’s a real fighter and it is because of the boredom she learned to fight for her wishes. In order to her to keep herself interested she’s being creative and I will support that. I will support her fight and will never tell her (like people told me ) how boring is to be bored easily, how scary and risky it is. No, you need to accept boredom as a unique skill of creative people and develop it.

Everyone is unique and special; and maybe out fight of boredom is our uniqueness and our road towards colorful future.

In special days like this

Today is not like every day.. Today is a very special day from me, and I’ll tell you why:

I woke up in the morning, happy as usual. I’m a morning person by the way; I love mornings because they make me feel energized and ready to rock the day. Today was a real spring day, the sun was shining brightly, but you could still feel the morning breeze..

As my husband was driving us to wok and our daughter to kindergarten, the music in the background was just amazing. We were all singing out-loudly and happily. The music played today reminded me the times when me and my husband were dating, free from obligations and planning our future together. Those were the times when we decided to have a child, and somehow today after 3 years since my daughter was born, it is the first day I started to think I would like to have another child soon..

And the day continued as usually.. We left our baby girl and went to work..

I was overloaded with work, when my phone rang.. it was from kindergarten.. My hearted started to beat fast and slow at the same time and million questions were boiling in my head: “Is she sick? – Did she fell? – Is she crying? –Maybe she is in ambulance?” –questions like this only a mother can understand. I finally picked up the phone and her teacher said ‘Rudina, Bora wants to talk to you on phone.. She keeps asking me, and it’s not stopping’ I said ‘Ok, give Bora to me” and again numerous question came to my mind ‘What will she tell me? – Maybe she just doesn’t want to eat her breakfast, but her teachers are insisting? – No, she’ll tell me something else, maybe she did something wrong and she is afraid when I’ll find out I will punish her when we go back home? – No, no, she will tell me, another child hit her” and like.. and then… I hear her sweet, sweet voice:

“Mommy, I LOVE YOU”

I’m like ‘ohhhh baby, I love you too, are you OK’

Bora: “Yes mommy”

Me: “Ok honey, now be a good girl, listen to your teachers and have fun at school today Ok’

Bora: “ok mommy, bye’

Me “Bye sweetheart’

I was so afraid I’ll cry there on the phone, or that she will ask me to go and pick her up, I couldn’t wait to close the phone

Is there a better feeling in the world? – I really doubt.

Children are true miracles, pure angels, and the best gift God can give us. I’m so blessed to have her. No matter how ‘hard I’m with her, difficult to deal with or hard to handle’, she loves me back, because she feels my pure and unconditional love for her.. Yes she does! .. and today I’m the happiest mother alive.

May God bless every female out there with this precious gift..

and yes I wanna have another child!

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