Tag Archives: relationship

When a song reminds you of a special feeling

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I don’t know about you but I have many songs that remind me of very special moments. Yet, the song “If I ain’t got you” by Alicia Keys is one of my favorite songs, because it reminds me the hard times me and my husband had to pass to be together.

We both share histories from our past. His one is a sad one, whereas mine is a troubled one. And in fact if we analyze how we got together, it was our histories that connected us. Both of our problems/sadness began at the same time, and somehow we needed to be together (we were colleagues and friends before we got together).

It was a night in spring 2009 when I went out for a drink, and there was live music. I was at my parent’s house who live in another city. I don’t know why but the singer sang more than three times this song, and somehow I couldn’t stop thinking on him (now my husband). I could clearly say it was exactly that night I became aware that my feelings towards him had changed. Somehow all I wanted was to be with him, not only that night but forever afterwards. I remember we exchanged some messages but I can’t remember exactly what. I went to sleep thinking on him.

The next morning I was drinking coffee with my family when the doorbell rang… and when I opened the door it was him. I was shivering and was ready to explode in tears and kiss him right there in front of everyone, but I had to calm myself because we firstly never talked about us and secondly my family was against me getting involved in any relationship, especially because I still didn’t officially break-up with my ex-boyfriend to whom I was also engaged (which means our families had a history together) – although we were not seeing each other for over a year.

Nevertheless, I remember me and my ‘friend’ (now my husband) went out and spent the day together. If you ask me what we did, where we went or what we talked I can barely tell you anything, because I was way too emotional to pay attention. However, for me that day still remains one of the best and happiest days of my life. All I can say and remember is that ‘that particular day’ marks the beginning of our love story, not because we kissed or talked anything about us, but because we both felt the love.

My husband remains one of the most important people in my life. I’m the happiest and luckiest girl to have met him and be with him. He will forever be my place of calm. There’s no way in the world through which I can truly express my love for him, but I know he can feel it and that makes me happy.

And as the song says:


Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain’t got you, yeah

Sara and John – A Story I’m working on

This is one of my love/romance stories – I’m currently working on..

If you have time, I will be more than glad to hear your opinion about it, and thank you in advance for your time and thoughtful insides.

Chapter I

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Sara was walking flawlessly in the streets of Paris – the city of love. It was her first time in Paris and everything seemed to amaze her: Eifel Tower with all its flashing lights, Notre Dame Cathedral with the most amazing architecture, river, fashionable street, sex shops (which she was seeing them for the first time), and of course Louvre Museum..

Louvre reminded her the amazing book she loved so much ‘Da Vinci’s Code’.. She stayed for a week in Paris and almost every day she passed by Louvre Museum and remembered ‘Da Vinci’s Code’ book.. Even on her birthday, which happened to be while she was visiting Paris, she passed by Louvre Museum, and no one really understood why. Not even Sara knew why she was going back there all the time, until the last night in Paris when she felt alone. Only that night, after two years, she had the courage to do what she always wanted to.. so she grabbed her phone and called John.

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John was her forbidden love. He was good-looking, tall, blond guy, very romantic and too much into Sara. They met in a wrong time, at a wrong place, but their attraction was so big they had an affair once. Only once, in a cheap-dirty hostel room in that small city of Balkans, they were both coming from. In the city where everyone knows everyone. Adrenaline was so high that they might got caught, that made the night even more special.

They spent hours and hours talking about life, love, school, work and ‘Da Vinci’s Code’ book which Sara was reading it. No one could understand the power of these discussions. It is something Sara was always missing in her relationship with her fiancé, it is something she had no right to ask for. Sara and John spent almost entire night talking, and they never touched.. she was not his and will never be. As the night was getting darker she laid in his arms to rest and felt so secured, so loved and happy. He hold her tight but nothing more, and the fact that he didn’t even try to touch her, made her wish him so badly that she started to tease him sexually.

Sara put some music in her phone and started to dance – belly dancing was her skill. She was moving her belly so smoothly from one side to another, that John was really trying hard not to touch her. Sara noticed it, so she went further and started to undress herself and changed her dance to strip-dance, moving around him, playing with her long curvy hairs and driving John crazy.

He closed his eyes and only smelled Sara while she moved.. He was drawn in that image.  When she got near him to kiss him, he couldn’t stand anymore and grabbed her in his strong arms and kissed her. She tasted like chocolate dipped strawberry, and he couldn’t get enough of her. For John this was his first kiss..he never knew kisses can be so sweet, no matter how much he tried to imagine them.

But the night didn’t end only with the kiss. As the sun was rising and their passion was in the maximum they were handed to each-other and become one.. At that moment no one knew where one ended and the other one begun

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Sara wanted to stop the time and stay there with John forever. She didn’t want to go back to her real life and pretending to be happy. It was only that day she hated sun-rise, it was only that day she saw how fast sun rises, how fast time passes, and how fast a night ends.

As clock was ticking 12 midday, her time to go back to reality was approaching.. She took her book and run outside, without giving John and good-bye kiss, because she knew she couldn’t resist, she knew if she kissed him she would run with him, so she just run outside, without looking back to him, with her book in the hands that she hold it as a bible.

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 John had many girlfriends after that night, but nothing to be considered seriously. He never found the attraction and passion Sara gave him that night. He tried several times to call her, but she never answered, until that night of March, right after her  BDay when she called him. It was raining outside and his window was open. When her name appeared in his phone the wind from outside brought inside the fresh air of grass which reminded him the smell of Sara’s hair.. and he got lost in her memory and somehow he was scared to pick up the phone, and then the ringing stopped. When he tried to call her back her phone was off. He got crazy.. After 2 years he lost her again.

Sara felt ashamed, sad, depressed.. She started to cry and run outside in the balcony. Her phone fell down and broke, but she was too sad to notice it.. The moon was looking back to her sadly, dark clouds covered all stars, it was almost raining in Paris. She felt alone in the city of love, a feeling she never wanted to feel anymore. She went in the bar and drank ‘Death in the Afternoon’. In that very moment as she got drunk she was not herself and she wanted to go something bad, so  the first man that approached her she took it in her room. They had sex and she went to sleep.

The very next morning Sara woke up happy.. neither the rain, nor the fact that she was going home made her feel sad, in fact she didn’t feel happier like this for a very long time now She was very happy, for a reason only she knew.

 

How parents impact our decisions and future relationships

Parents are people we trust the most and people we love the most. From the time we enter this world, our parents become our everything. They are the ones we run to when we need to feel safe and secure. They are the ones we run to when we need love and appreciation. They are the ones we run to when we feel sad and broken. They are the ones we want to know will always be there, no matter what we do or who we become in our life, they will always be there to hold us, push us, they will be always proud of us.

We love them so much, that we want to be like them when we grow up; they are our first examples, and our role models in life. As such, their behavior affects us even without us being aware of that. Their relationships impact our future relationship. There’s a famous quote which says that men search for their mothers in their future wives, while women for their dads.

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I was lucky to be raised in a happy family, where love and respect were both at the bottom and at the top of what made us a family. I was raised seeing my dad in love with my mother, and my mother doing everything for him in return. When I become a grown up girl (searching for my mate), I was looking for my dad, I was dreaming for a man who loves me unconditionally, I was searching for a man who respects me, who’s well educated, communicative, responsible, and for whom family is the first priority… And luckily I did found him (it took me while though)…

However, not everyone is as lucky as I am. People are raised by singe parents (which is OK), but the message their parent give them is “It’s OK to break up, don’t lose time trying, if you meet another one and you believe you have fallen in love with the other person, leave your spouse, leave your children and run after him/her”.. Ok.. I know I’m exaggerating things, but I’m trying to make a point.

I’m trying to show to all parents out there that before taking the decision to give birth to a child, make sure you love your spouse unconditionally, make sure you’ll do the impossible to make it work, make sure there won’t be a reason for break-up..only then make a child. Because when you decide to give birth to a child, it’s not about you anymore, it’s about all of you together. There’s no ‘me’ left anymore, there’s only ‘us’. Be a role model to you child just like you would wished it for yourself. Let’s make sure we share love in this world, let us all play our parts for making this world a better place to live. Let us be the victims and hero of love and happiness.

Your impact on your child’s behavior and their decisions is higher than you imagine. Please, make sure you deliver the right message.

 

P.S. I apologies to anyone (especially to single parents) who might feel insulted from this article.